I'm a loner when it comes to work and when I am at home many days since certain things have occured my life and I just having me for company is not that bad. It's strange, when coming up as a kid, I craved attention, long for acception. I was not that confident in myself, I never thought I was attraction, the names I was called (Grape Ape, Monkey Man, Cornelius[from the planet of the Apes] was not cool. It didn't help the fact that I had a crush on a girl almost every other month (many times I built up romantic relationships in my mind and I as far I can remember this was from the time I was 5 years old until high school) only to be shot down. Plus me and mother never have been close. She would tell me, "just get over it" to "When you begin having bills...then you will know the meaning of 'hurt.'" I think what really did the damage between me and mother is when she accused me of...as she said, "f***ing another boy".
I have always tried to talk to my mom about my crushes, my feelings, my heartaches and for her to say that to me just because my best buddy was Demitrius broke the camel's back for me. I never told her about who I was attracted to from that point. I don't hate her, she's my mother but for a parent to say that to a child was really...foul. It didn't crush that she accussed me of being gay but just the fact of how could a parent form their mouth to say this to a 12 year old child. I never had a positive role model in my life until much later in life it's sad to say but me and mom parted ways years ago. Do I think about her? Yes I do. But I know deep down she may have wanted a girl and when my dad walked out on her after only 5 years of marriage that in a way she blamed me for it from the way at times she talked to me and "at" me. I wasn't an angel and I did my share of dirt but for the most part I tried to respect her until the day we parted ways.
Fast forward about 10-15 years ahead while living in Missouri and meeting a young lady from Norma, Oklahoma that gave me the boost of confidence I needed. I had just broke up with whom I will call the "Christian Hustler" and was kinda down in the dumps. I worked at the store called The Nature Company. She was here for a teacher's conference and she came into the store and the rest was history. We only saw one another off and on for about 6 months but she taught me that I was attractive, I was cool just the way I was. The things I could approve on in reference to myself I should and what I could not change...deal with it.
Here it is 2008 and for some reason I'm getting a feeling that a huge change is coming in my life and it will be for the better. I will have to go through some pain to reach what God has always had for me. Sometime we get hard headed and want to do things on our own and knowing deep down that path was not really meant for you and you get another chance to do the right thing. I'm not saying you just sit back and wait for it to happen but sometimes we go by "feelings" instead of common sense. Now when I'm at work, I look forward to being by myself, when I'm at home I look forward to having that quiet time.
I'm truly loving DarrenKeith and God made one helluva person when He created me. ^_^
After a slew of two complaints that I am not blogging enough, I have decided to post again. Twice in the same month? Can it be?
If I am not blogging very much, it's because I am trying to find a new equilibrium or some semblance of it. After two years of no full-time employment for someone other than myself, it's been a little bumpy getting other things juggled and this bumpy patch is taking longer to get through than I expected. Can't seem to find a lot of time, energy or inspiration for practicing or writing songs, for example. Cleaning house is another problem. I always seem to find time for knitting, though, if my brain is still somewhat active. There have been other problems like trying to get the national health to activate my file even though they have already given me my social security number, etc. That's just annoying -- nothing too major, I hope. I guess...I don't know...what do I have going on in my life that isn't private that is worth blogging about? Not much.
While my husband ponders how he will create a BBQ-flavored breakfast cereal and I ponder how the hell I can get an Epiphone John Lennon Revolution Casino guitar, I am just translating market reviews on French margarine sales and learning all the many ways the French President is turning France into some sort of annex of the US, but not the good things about the US. Also we'll be down to two F2E production people starting next week (we're getting a taste of it this week), so I'll be scrambling, even busier than that infamous one-legged man. At least while I'm at work. We'll see what's left of me at day's end. It's amazing how tiring my job can be. You'd think, "No big deal, your ass is parked in a chair all day! How can you be so tired?" But hitting a daily quota of 25 abstracts with simultaneous translation or 45 to 50 translations (I've only ever done 38 at my best) is exhausting. And my relatively minor commute can also wear me out, mostly because of the dreaded IBS-D. That's why fingers are crossed for us to get into public housing in Paris one day, especially into the place just up the street from my job or the one near Montmartre. I didn't really plan on living out the rest of my days in Bobigny. Sure, there are at least as many trees here as there are people and that's nice, and people are more polite here (well, not the car arsonists, but you can't have everything), but still. In Paris, I feel truly at home. With the bad air quality and rude people? No, I don't understand it either, but on a sunny, cloudless, breezy day like today...I feel it with every shimmering leaf. Paris is my home. But I digress...
Tired...job...oh yeah.
What surprises me is that I am still reading in my free time. Well, I'm pickier now. If a book doesn't grab me after 60 pages, it goes. Right now it's "Moon Palace" by Paul Auster, so everything is tickety-boo. And I have about four possible plot lines for future novels and the idea of writing even more everyday doesn't scare me one bit. If I can find time for it before I pass out. I am trying to live two lives in one. Possibly three. Part of me is really tempted to take the rest of the year off from creative projects (or, rather, beating myself up about not working on creative projects) to enjoy the relative normalcy of daily life, which has been so un-normal for the last two-ish years. To get work and life to the right consistency then start slowly folding more ingredients into the batter of my life. It seems sensible, doesn't it? Probably exactly why I won't do it.
And did I mention how very badly I want the new iPhone? I tell myself, 'NO, NO, do not be a mindless consumer', but I am not being mindless, I swear. Everyday I think of new ways this little gadget would help me. AND of all the ways that it is even better than the phone of the future that I dreamt of when I was seven, even before I ever even touched a Macintosh 128K (they were gifted to my elementary school when I was eight, the Autumn after Ridley Scott's famous commercial was broadcast during the Super Bowl at half-time, so quick math: I was born in September 1976). The only thing stopping me is having to change my mobile plan. THE. ONLY. THING.
And my husband. Who is a PC guy. And pretty sensible.
And our bank account.
Ok, so not the only thing.
You see? Not very interesting. If any of this has been interesting to you, please comment. It may encourage me to start posting more frequently. However, after this entry, perhaps you'd rather not encourage me.
Driving past Sam's Club yesterday.
ComingSoon.net caught up with DreamWorks Animations CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg on Tuesday and learned that George Lucas is looking to repurpose the six "Star Wars" episodes into 3D format.
Katzenberg told us that Lucas is very excited about it and that he's got the technical resources to pull it off. "He isn't going to put a product out, I think, that isn't anything other than first rate," Katzenberg said.
(goldderby.latimes.com) Besides Heath Ledger's, what other Oscars could 'The Dark Knight' win?
With all of the frenzied Oscar talk about Heath Ledger being nominated for best lead or supporting actor, where is the buzz for "The Dark Knight" in other categories, eh?
Of course, Warner Bros. would like us all to believe that "The Dark Knight" is a shoo-in for best-picture and director noms, but those may be a bit of a s-t-r-e-t-c-h, even for mighty Batman. However, director/co-writer Christopher Nolan might be nominated along with his brother Jonathan for crafting such words as these growled by the Joker (Heath Ledger) to Batman (Christian Bale): "You're just a freak . . . like me!"
Popcorn pix like "The Dark Knight" aren't often appreciated by the academy for writing, but sometimes voters nominate the screenplays of animated pix ("Ratatouille," "The Incredibles," "Finding Nemo"), blockbusters ("Gladiator"), comedies ("Big"), even fantasies ("Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" won).
Besides, the Nolans are past nominees for best screenplay — for "Memento." Sadly, they got robbed by the overrated script to "Gosford Park," so the academy owes 'em. That's how I look at it.
And considering the Oscar pedigree of many other members of its creative team, "The Dark Knight" could be a major player in many top races.
ART DIRECTION —Nathan Crowley scored a bid for "The Prestige."
CINEMATOGRAPHY — Wally Pfister was nominated for "The Prestige" and "Batman Begins."
COSTUMES — Lindy Hemming won for "Topsy-Turvy."
EDITING — Lee Smith was nommed for "Master and Commander."
MAKEUP — Messing up the gook on Heath Ledger's face like that was brilliant. This Joker looks crazier than ever . . . and he IS, natch. The academy may want to thank Peter Robb-King, who was nommed for "Legend."
MUSIC — James Newton Howard (seven nominations, including "Michael Clayton," "My Best Friend's Wedding," "The Prince of Tides") and Hans Zimmer (seven noms; he won for "The Lion King").
SOUND EDITING — Richard King won for "Master and Commander" and was nominated for "War of the Worlds."
SOUND MIXING —Ed Novick was up for "Spider-Man."
VISUAL EFFECTS — Ian Hunter is long overdue for Oscar recognition, having three previous noms from the Visual Effects Society for socko work on the likes of "Spider-Man 3" and "Live Free or Die Hard."
But
what about Heath Ledger's shot at an Oscar in the acting categories?
First, the studio must decide if he should compete in lead or
supporting.
Many Oscarologists believe that Heath Ledger's ghost holds an I.O.U. after having lost the best-actor award for for "Brokeback Mountain".
Dissolving Zombies Of Mass Destruction: What Could Go Wrong?
(io9.com) Just in case you thought there weren't enough zombie movies in production, Benderspink has purchased the film rights to the graphic novel ZMDs: Zombies of Mass Destruction by Underworld writer-producer Kevin Grevioux. Click through for more details on the ZMDs.
In the ZMD comics, the military floods enemy territory with zombies at night. Then the undead proceed to reek havoc on every person in the designated areas. But by daylight, the Zombies dissolve under natural light because the army engineered them to be photosensitive. So the military can just walk in with out fear of ZMD, but in the comic and soon-to-be movie, something goes wrong and the zombies don't dissolve as planned. Mayhem ensues.
Bryan Singer Producing "Capeshooters"
(Variety) Variety says that Warner Bros. has acquired Capeshooters, a comic book adaptation that will be produced by Bryan Singer's WB-based Bad Hat Harry production company. The project is based on Image Comics co-founder Rob Liefeld's upcoming comic.
Singer (X-Men, X2: X-Men United, Superman Returns) is interested in exploring the darker side of the subject. He will only be producer on the project. BHH's Alex Garcia will executive produce.
In Capeshooters, two slackers become paparazzi who specialize in shooting covert videos of superheroes find themselves on the run after they stumble onto evidence that a revered superhero is actually a villain.
J.P. Lavin and Chad Damiani will write the script.
Pixar, Sony, and Lucasfilm Host Studio Nights at SIGGRAPH
CHICAGO, Jul 22, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- As part of the newly expanded format of the Computer Animation Festival, SIGGRAPH 2008 will feature three all-star Production Studio Nights hosted by industry powerhouses Pixar Animation Studios, Sony Pictures Imageworks, and Lucasfilm.
In addition to the Festival's popular Competition and Invited Screenings, Festival Talks, and Production Sessions, each studio will host evening events at Los Angeles' famed Nokia Theatre. Highlights will include an exclusive advance screening of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars", preceded by a conversation between Animation Director John Knoll and Director David Filoni, discussions with some of the industry's most notable pioneers such as John Lasseter and Frederic Back, as well as a tribute to the late Stan Winston, renown visual effects supervisor, makeup artist and film director.
"We are absolutely thrilled to have these three production icons participate in this year's Festival," stated Jill Smolin, SIGGRAPH 2008 Conference Entertainment Director. "The programs presented by each of these studios not only highlight the some of the best animated works and creators in the world, but also provide an excellent education to the general public on the industry and just what it takes to make these animations come to life."
The Computer Animation Festival is open to the public, with day passes available for as low as $50. For details on the complete Computer Animation Festival schedule of events and registration information visit http://www.siggraph.org/s2008/attendees/caf/.
The complete schedule of the Computer Animation Festival Production Studio Nights includes:
Pixar Animation Studios
Tuesday, 12 August, 8 - 11 pm
Screening of "The Man Who Planted Trees" Followed by a Conversation With Frederic Back and John Lasseter
For more than 20 years, John Lasseter has redefined the animation industry, shaping the way we watch animation and showing us the sweetness, complexities, and hilarities in the simplest and most unlikely places.
Frederic Back, a two-time Academy Award winner for "Crac" and "The Man Who Planted Trees," joins John Lasseter for a rare conversation about the passions to which he has committed his life: animation, art, and the environment.
Screening of "The Pixar Story" With Introduction and Q&A by Director Leslie Iwerks and Friends
An in-depth look behind the scenes of the ground-breaking company that pioneered a new generation of animation and forever changed the face of filmmaking. Using never-before-seen footage from the Pixar library, along with historic archival animation and first-hand accounts by animators, studio executives, directors, producers, and voice performers, Academy Award-nominated filmmaker Leslie Iwerks tells the riveting story of the Bay Area start-up that revolutionized Hollywood.
Sony Pictures Imageworks
Wednesday, 13 August, 8 - 11 pm
Saying that Stan Winston helped transform visual effects into a legendary industry is just a start to recognizing his contribution and his legacy. He altered the course of movies when he transformed makeup effects from latex to animatronics. His credo, "I don't do effects, I do characters," provided the foundation for a veritable galaxy of interstellar aliens, menacing chrome robots, and predatory dinosaurs. His work blurred the lines between makeup, puppetry, and visual effects.
In films ranging from "Terminator" to "Edward Scissorhands" to "Iron Man," audiences could barely discern where the actor ended and the effects began. Winston inspired legions of directors, visual effects supervisors, and artists to stretch their abilities beyond what they knew to be possible. He challenged imagination, inspired creativity, and invented worlds we couldn't have conceived otherwise. His insatiable curiosity even moved beyond the film world into robotics and artificial intelligence, in innovations that found their way from the labs at MIT to the workshop in Van Nuys. Sony Pictures Imageworks, in conjunction with Stan Winston Studios, hosts an evening of tributes, celebrations, and memories of Stan Winston and his characters by family, friends, and peers.
A special clip reel created by Digital Domain, of which Winston used to be part owner, will be shown and the evening will close with a screening of "Terminator 2."
Lucasfilm
Thursday, 14 August, 8 - 11 pm
Lucasfilm presents an advance screening of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," the much-anticipated animated feature film from director Dave Filoni and executive producer George Lucas that opens to the public on Friday, 15 August. This event, hosted by ILM Visual Effects Supervisor John Knoll, begins with a discussion of the film's unique design and signature style. The intergalactic struggle between good and evil continues with a screening of the next "Star Wars" adventure to hit the silver screen.
Berg Directing 'Hercules', Will Weta be Involved?
(ropeofsilicon.com)
Looks like the critical blast of Peter Berg's superhero flick Hancock
will have zero lasting effect as not only is he set to put his own spin
on Dune, but Variety now reports Berg will direct a new film adatpation
of the legendary Hercules for Universal Pictures.
The pic will be adapted for the screen by Ryan Condal based on a five-issue comicbook series by Steve Moore that debuted in May through Radical Publishing. To the right is a piece of art Weta Workshops (Lord of the Rings, King Kong, Narnia) created for the comic. The following caption describes the image:
"The image takes its viewpoint from just over the shoulder of a soldier who is about to go one on one with this titan who is emerging from the bloody heat of battle wielding his club, leaving in his wake a smashed and gory trail of would be opponents. I think that trail is about to get one body longer..."
You can see five more pieces of Weta's concept pieces right here: http://www.wetaworkshop.co.nz/projects/filmography/galleries/radicalhercules
The Weta site goes on to say the following about Radical's version of the story:
In Radical\u2019s version of Hercules, written by Steve Moore, the gods are a supernatural force beyond our comprehension. The union of the two produced Hercules, but the two species do not mix, driving him to berzerker rages where his non human half is in control.
The designs for Radical Publishing are based on a dark story from the life of Hercules after he has completed his famed twelve labours. Blatant Pictures owns Radical Publishing, and they are developing a motion picture project based on this Hercules story.
Barry Levine is producing the pic for Radical and told Variety, "What resonated for them was that this was character driven, about a character who\u2019s more man than god, with conflicts and redemption."
The article at Variety doesn't say much more, but Weta's direct
involvement with the comic certainly adds to expectations they will
also help out with the film production.
Columbia is "Stealing Time"
(Variety) Columbia Pictures has hired Walt Becker to direct the action film Stealing Time, with Bob Cooper's Landscape Entertainment and Charles Segars' Sparkler Entertainment producing.
The story revolves around three generations of men who embark on a worldwide quest to uncover the secrets of an ancient device known as the Antikythera Mechanism, which may be the key component to making time travel possible.
Colin Trevorrow, who wrote Tester for DreamWorks, has begun working on the Stealing Time script.
ANIMATED FROG BITES DISNEY
(Darkhorizons.com) Far from receiving congratulations from the African-American community for finally producing an animated feature with a black princess, Disney is finding itself embroiled in a new controversy every bit as bitter as the one that followed the release of its 1947 film Song of the South. According to published reports, the controversy has already forced the studio to change the title of the film and the name of the lead character. The film, originally titled The Frog Princess, is now being called The Princess and the Frog and the lead character is now called Tiana instead of Maddy. But the controversy has not ended. Charlotte Observer columnist William Blackburn comments: "This princess' story is set in New Orleans, the setting of one of the most devastating tragedies to beset a black community. And then they throw in the voodoo theme [the fairy-godmother character is a voodoo priestess] and an alligator sidekick. When you put New Orleans, alligators and voodoo together, there's no beauty there." The London Independent reports that Disney has now made the prince in the story a man of Middle Eastern heritage and "revised" the race of the villain.
Marvel Nearing Deal For "Iron Man 2"
(stephenrobinson.wordpress.com) Marvel is reportedly close to a deal with writer Justin Theroux to to write the sequal to the giant hit Iron Man. It has also been announched that they are close to a deal with director Jon Favreau and star Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man 2 is expected to be released in 2010.
Buzz Subdued for New Animated 'Star Wars' Film
(dailyherald.com) Brian Krause used to get chills when he heard information about a new "Star Wars" film coming out.
This year, he has the luke-warms.
Krause was among the fans who attended a Lucasfilm presentation at the recent Wizard World comic convention in Rosemont. Steve Sansweet, Lucasfilm's director of fan relations, unveiled details about new "Star Wars" products coming out in the next few months, including "Star Wars: Clone Wars," a full-length computer-animated film that arrives in theaters on Aug. 15.
Krause, a self-described "Star Wars" geek from Elgin, expected to be blown away by what he saw. Instead, he merely liked it.
"I'll definitely see the movie," Krause said. "The trailer looks pretty cool. But for some reason, I'm not as excited as I was before the last few films came out."
Krause isn't alone. After Sansweet showed the "Clone Wars" trailer to the Wizard World crowd, the applause was positive, but polite - hardly the raucous response that has greeted past "Star Wars" previews. And chatter about the film on movie and "Star Wars"-related message boards has been surprisingly restrained so far.
"You're definitely not seeing the kind of hype you got with the last three films," said Mike Barrick, a staff member at theforce.net, a "Star Wars" fan site.
So what's the deal? Could the "Star Wars" Force be fading? Has creator George Lucas gone to the well too many times?
The Jedi faithful say no.
"This isn't a case of 'Star Wars' burnout," Barrick said. "The really hard-core fans can't wait to see 'Clone Wars.' And the more casual fans will probably get into it once the movie opens. 'Star Wars' is still huge."
Lucasfilm certainly hopes so. The company has a slew of "Star Wars" material on tap for 2008 and beyond. "Star Wars: The Force Unleashed," a video game for most current systems, will debut on Sept. 16. It will be followed by a "Clone Wars" television series on the Cartoon Network and, a bit further down the road, a live-action "Star Wars" television series.
First up, though, is the "Clone Wars" movie, which takes place during the time between the last two "prequel" films: "Episode II: Attack of the Clones" and "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." Sansweet said the movie will flesh out the relationship between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi, while providing more glimpses of the war that eventually leads to the creation of the Galactic Empire.
"Clone Wars" differs from past "Star Wars" in a couple of key ways. First, the movie opens in August, near the end of the summer blockbuster season. It's also the franchise's first animated feature film, with its computer-generated 3-D images showing a clear Japanese influence.
"Star Wars" has been animated before, but on television, not the big screen. (The most recent example is an acclaimed series, also called "Clone Wars," that ran on Cartoon Network.)
That, Barrick said, might be one reason why anticipation isn't as high.
"It looks and feels different, and some people might not like it," he said.
Barrick added that because "Revenge of the Sith" completed the primary "Star Wars" story, there aren't as many unknowns out there to get people interested.
Libertyville fan Will O'Connell, who attended the Wizard World presentation, agreed with Barrick, adding that after the prequels and the earlier "Clone Wars" animated series, many fans might feel that this part of the saga has been covered well enough.
"This new film might seem like a rehash of that stuff," he said.
Still, O'Connell believes that once the movie opens, people will come.
"I think there's a lot that could be done with that part of the story," he said. "A lot happened between episodes II and III that we never got to see. This will help fill in the blanks."
Sansweet said Lucasfilm plans to give the film a big push at Comic-Con International in San Diego, which takes place this weekend and tends to be a huge launchpad for projects like this.
"When people see what the filmmakers have done, they'll realize it's still 'Star Wars,' just done in a new way," he said.
Lucasfilm reps will also promote the upcoming "Clone Wars" television show, which is scheduled to air this fall on TNT and Cartoon Network. The series will be animated in the same manner as the film, and it will pick up the story where the movie leaves off.
Also getting a push this weekend will be "The Force Unleashed," the long-awaited new video game that Sansweet says will serve as a bridge between episodes III and IV, and other "Star Wars" projects on the horizon.
"It's a good time to be a "Star Wars" fan," he said.
Dreamworks Discovers The Holy Grails of 3-D (VFXworld.com) As
a prelude to Comic-Con, DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg
took the opportunity this morning at the Glendale campus to discuss the
studio's commitment to 3-D and preview a scene from its debut
stereoscopic CG-animated feature, MONSTERS VS. ALIENS (March 27, 2009). Katzenberg stated that DreamWorks has worked hard in attaining the three Holy
Grails of 3-D: dark environments; moving quickly; and quick cutting.
Meanwhile, Editor Eric Dapkewicz showed off the new proprietary editing system that starts during animatics. "It gives us more flexibility in the pacing of the movie," Dapkewicz suggested. "People complain of eye fatigue. One way to offset this is through pacing. By looking at both left and right eye versions of the cut and then combining them, they can open up shots that are not too jarring. Since DreamWorks cuts on the Avid, they've since asked them to come up with a way of automatically converting left and right eye versions of a cut to save time, which he said Avid is currently working on as part of a 3-D industry solution.
Finally, VFX Supervisor Phil McNally demo'd their new "3-D Perfection Tool," which is a final quality control check before lighting. "This is a stereo timing pass that is similar to a color timing pass," he explained. This tool matches shots in a sequence so the foreground and background are smooth and not jarring.
Katzenberg told AWN that with three other stereoscopic features in production (HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, SHREK GOES FOURTH and MASTER MIND) and with tools that are still innovating, "it's now about artistic choices and [being] thoughtful about your art direction."
But with a budget of $150 million for MONSTERS and an extra $15 million for 3-D authoring, the key to success now is converting as many screens as possible for digital 3-D projection. There are currently only 1,500 3-D screens and Katzenberg anticipates 2,500 for the release of MONSTERS (including IMAX). However, he believes that viewers will pay a premium price for a premium experience, and that is the selling point in convincing exhibitors to make the conversion.
As I wrote earlier when I am at the second job this my "me" time either alone with God so I can not only talk to him but to listen to Him talk to me or I have my iPod listening to music podcasts from my brothers and sisters (I haven't listened to Leo and the gang for a minute although I finally began listening to the latest TWiT episode while heading to pick up the Mrs.) or talk podcasts and two really cut me and healed me at the same time.
The Meltdown by Suni T is a awesome podcast because she puts her heart out there each and every time talking about mental health, how she truly feels, what she is struggling with day in and day out and her two podcast "The Do Nothing Attitude" and "Choose Your Mood" really spoke to my heart, soul, and mind. "Choose Your Mood" hit me hard because for me this year so far has been a challenge to say the least. Struggling with me being out of work for a while, not timing it right with my unemployment benefits, finally finding work and playing catch up with personal issues has made me feel isolated from the internet. It brought out the ugliness in the person who I thought I could truly rely on and is making me rethink things in reference to love, relationship, trust.
It's amazing how when you are "burned" by them in reference to their actions and it bites not only them but yourself how the attitude is, "I'm sorry but what's done is done". But when the shoe is on the other foot all hell breaks loose. I have put up with a lot of mess from this person and for them to turn on me like this was really hurtful. Suni's podcast, "Choose Your Mood" really made me rethink some issues. I know it drains her to record them but I hope she keeps them coming because tonight her podcasts really has made me realize so much about myself, how much I have grown and more important, getting to know "me" again.
This year I truly feel many of us who first joined Vox will be blogging more because so much is going on in our lives. We have grown so much. We came to Vox for fun, kind of left Vox because either with our busy schedule or just didn't feel like writing and now we are coming back home and we will begin getting in touch with one another again. Vox hasn't change...I have and now it's time for me to come back home. What Suni podcasts did for me today is that (1) I am not only and (2) Sometimes you have to push your way through situations, learn to love yourself, and realize that life is not and will not be perfect but not to let it beat you down.
Thanks lil' sis...you do not know how much your two shows helped me tonight. ^_^
I entered "JESUS" in the search engine at CafePress.com. I ended up with a long list of bumper stickers, some of which I'll share. Here are some of my favorites: (Ok, before the stones are thrown – I found these really funny. Some are truly horrible as well… just because I posted them does NOT mean I agree with them. …all)
I FOUND JESUS(He’s in the trunk of my car)
I FOUND JESUS (He was behind the sofa)
Christianity does not teach hate
Aslan is on the move
Christian who thinks
Jesus saves sinners! (And redeems them for valuable prizes)
The real Jesus forgives your jesus for being a greedy republican warmonger
Jesus would use His turn signal
Jesus was a social activist liberal
WWJT = Who Would Jesus Torture?
Get Real! Like Jesus would ever own a gun or vote republican
Jesus is coming ~ look busy
The fish symbol with “sushi” in it
Jesus told me to mock George W Bush
Hatred, bigotry and intolerance are not Christian values
Want less
Draft SUV drivers
So many Christians so few lions
Who would Jesus Bomb?
God doesn’t exist so I guess no one loves you
We’re making enemies faster than we can kill them
Ok, so stone me later... these were funny! I'm shopping for stuff to make my momivan "findable" in the parking lot. Honda's tend to congregate enmasse in this town. Gahhh!
I am in training with about 10-15 people and I feel so alone; but when i head to the second job at night and I am by myself I feel so whole. Is the backwards? I don't think so because I do not like nonsense. I wish I could just come in to a job, people just do what they suppose to do...you know, "work". Instead, I hear people talking while the instructor is trying to teach his lessons, when going on break in break room where you can use your cell phone or use the wall phones that are available and I hear "baby momma's drama", chicks yelling at "Tyrone" for just laying around the house. A perfect world for me would be that if I had to work around women they watched shows on USA Network/HGTV/NatGeo/The Travel Channel. They listen to podcasts, they dress modest, the woman are polite, nice, and up front with you in a professional manner...no head games.
I am 43 now and I have a very low tolerance for foolishness. For me, women that watch Grey's Anatomy/Girlfriends/Sex In The City/TMZ/Access Hollywood/Entertainment Tonight/Oxygen/Lifetime Channel I have no need for them to come around me, be around me. Many of these type of women live in a fantasy world. I know there is no "perfect" person but what I have found out is that some women say they enjoy peace but love nonsense and other woman love peace, work for having peace around them and within themselves. I have also come to realize that for me there is a difference between a "church/Christian woman" and a woman that is a "Follower of Christ Jesus".
Let me make this very clear, not all women that watch T.D. Jakes/Cleflo Dollar/Zachary Timms/Rod Parsely/John Hagee and not like this but many women who watch these pastors say they are Christians but gossip, have bad eating habits, children have no home training, spends like its no tomorrow and then wonder why their lives are in disarray. Where women who watch and listen to pastors like Paul Sheppard/Dr. Charles Stanley/Greg Laurie/Adrian Rogers/Chuck Swindoll/David Jeremiah and that enjoy listening to NPR are more in tune with God's word, strong and yet gentle, they spend money wisely and are very pleasant to be around. I also find out that women that are into computers are some of the coolest women on the planet. I'm I saying that the former pastors I mentioned are bad? Not at all...what I have learned is that these men can teach God's word but it is up to the individual put it into practice.
When I am at my night cleaning job, I am alone, I have my quiet time with Jesus, I have my iPod and I am a happy camper. I can hear myself think, I can let my mind flow. The other thing is that even the people that work inside the building that cleans are very cool. Maybe it's because it's less contact and we are on our own floors...maybe blue collar people have more common/street sense than people that work in corporate America. Either way, it's so nice, so cool to work in this type of environment. This is my time to unwind. I look at working at the night job as exercise(and I get paid for it), solitude, time to re-group.
I have low tolerance for stupidity, whether male or female. I am glad I am married because in this day and age if I was single I think I would marry but I would be so selective that I may be single for the rest of my life. So much drama in this day and age and so many ways of carrying yourself is tolerated it makes my stomach turn. I think I'm like Robert DeNiro's character in "Heat" when he says, "I am 'alone' but I'm not 'lonely'. Maybe I'm getting to an age where I am becoming set in my ways but I don't think so. Maybe I'm getting set in my ways when it comes to people offline because it seems I'm cool with many people online.
Does anyone feel this way?